“Advice for my Future Son” Redux

Almost 7 years ago, when I was a very active blogger on Xanga, I wrote the below post, which became one of my most commented and talked about blogs. Granted, some parts are corny, but I still can’t believe I wrote something so insightful. It’s funny, I read it once in a while to get perspective and people still ask me about it.

So, for your entertainment, below is “Advice for My Future Son” in its original entirety. 


I got this idea for a post a while ago and I’ve been compiling it for a while. It would be stuff that I would tell a younger brother if I had one, but since I don’t, I’ll categorize as tidbits I’d pass along to my future son. If I have a son, that is. If I have all daughters, I’m sure some could apply to them. It also supposes that my future son is straight, I mean, since I’m straight, I could only give straight advice. But if the Lord deems fit that he be gay, hopefully he’ll grow up in a more tolerant world. Of course, I’d support him no matter what he is, unless he becomes a republican.  

Advice For My Future Son.

-Speak your mind, but mind your thoughts. 

-Date girls who you can make laugh. It’ll make the times you fight better.   

-Don’t compare every girl you meet to one you’ve known before. Learn lessons from all your relationships, but don’t compare notes.

-The two most complicated things in the world are love and anger. Don’t let them control you.

-In regards to women, beware the dime who likes the benjamins.

-90% of all problems you have, you will laugh at a year later.

-As far as sex goes, the first time, don’t do it just to do it. Make it worth it. Take your time, the first time, the next time, and every time. Don’t be a horn dog.

-Don’t underestimate the importance of kissing and dancing to women.

-“The key to a woman’s heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.”-Finding Forrester

-Believe in Karma, shit you do will get back to you.

-Your life is not like the movies. (This includes porn.)

-Know your audience.

-Do not underestimate how much women tell each other.

-If someone wants you to go on a talk show. Do not do it.

-Life is a comedy. Laugh at everything that goes wrong. Do not take yourself too seriously.

-Don’t compare yourself to others. The only thing that can stop you in this world is too much ego or too little self confidence. Be confident, not cocky. There is a difference.

-You can’t teach chemistry. Do not force it.

-Be good to others, you never know who’ll grow up hot, smart, or rich.

-Never use “if” when referring to the past.

-If her temper is shorter than her skirt, be careful.

-Understand why other people have their own opinion, especially if that opinion differs from yours.

-West Indian Girls. 🙂

-Believe in something. Whether it be God, Krishna, Allah, or Buddha, whatever, know that not everything in the world is coincidence or luck.

-Flirt with all kinds of girls. 

-In life, whenever possible, always take the scenic route.

-Allow others to make their own mistakes. Be your friend’s eraser, not pencil.

-Be quick to admit mistakes, and quicker to learn from them.

-Listen to The Temptations, they have a song to deal with every occasion.

-Knives, guns, bombs..are nothing. There is nothing more destructive than a an angry woman.

-Once a month, go to bed pretty early. Just lie down and let your mind wander for a couple hours, and keep a notebook nearby, you’ll have the best ideas.

– Nothing more dangerous than a pretty girl. Live dangerously.

-Beware of short people.

-Trying to be cool will make you look like an idiot.

-Girls talk a lot, you don’t have to pay attention to everything they say. Its when they stop talking that you have to worry. What a girl doesn’t say is often more important than what she says.

-Listen to music everyday. Remember, there is no good or bad music. There’s what you like and what you don’t like. Same principle applies to girls. There’s ones you’re attracted to and ones you’re not attracted to. Don’t listen to critics.

-Good music is a cure for everything and anything.

-The worst pain you will ever feel is a kick in the gut without ever being touched. I hope that sentence never makes sense to you.

-Want to impress white chicks? Learn to play the guitar. 

-Do not be the other man.

-BROS BEFORE HOS!!!! If your friends and I do not like her. Trust Us!

-Love comes in many shapes, but be wary of triangles.

-Life’s too short to hold grudges.

-Do not be afraid to look like a total and complete jackass.

-These are all just suggestions. In the game of life, you make your own rules.



Edit: Advice for my future daughter: Dont date anyone like your father!!

~ by joysonism on January 8, 2012.

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