Brown Rant- Marriage? Mind Ya Bidness

I’ve been busy and haven’t been able to post a blog in a bit, but I need a good old, fashioned rant right about now.

So I get a call from my sister a couple hours ago, telling me that our family priest is taking a random trip to my parents place this evening. I’m glad I’m not there, because I’m not in the mood to be a “nice Indian boy” and answer questions about why I haven’t been to church in a few weeks.

However, my sister calls me after the visit and gives me the download on the visit. Oh my GAWD, I’m glad I wasn’t there because I would have gotten straight loud and ignorant in that conversation.

Our priest has the audacity to come over to my parents house, when he knows I’m not there and ask them why I’m not married and why I’m not looking.

I’m sorry, how the hell is this any of your concern?!? The way I live my life and whether or not I decide to get married is not a community discussion. And frankly, I do NOT appreciate people questioning my parents on MY intentions.

Fortunately, my Dad is cooler than cool and handled the situation. Apparently he said, “What do you want me to do? Drag him to the altar and glue a ring on his finger? I’m not going to do that, its his life and he says he is not ready for marriage. In fact, I think he wants to do a few things with his career first, before getting married.”

To which my priest replies: “Well, if he gets married…his wife can help him with his career and businesses.”

Are you for cereal!? You did NOT just make that argument.

Pops, though, kept his cool…though he is well known for not giving a damn and calling people out on their bullshit. Later in the conversation, Dad goes: “I’m patient with him because I’d like to see him get married and settled. I even told him, ‘you know what, I don’t care who you marry, brown, white, black…I just want to see you happy and settled with your own family.'”

Then, my priest said something that I’m CERTAIN made my parents glad I wasn’t there. He said, “White or Black? No no, there is no White or Black, he should marry an Indian girl from the same state we’re from.”

EXCUSE ME? I thought only God was supposed to pass judgement.

My sister told me that her jaw dropped when he said this and mom actually turned to her and gave her a, “don’t say anything and close your mouth” look. Suffice to say, if I was there..I would have had to verbally drop the gloves.

So not only are you coming into our house, questioning why I’m not married yet, but you are also essentially requiring that I marry a Malayalee (person from the State of Kerala in South India), Christian girl? EFF THAT NOISE.

The best part is, during my call with my sister afterward, she tells me that my Dad goes to her and says, “No black or white and only an Indian? Guess our priest doesn’t know Joyson as well has he thinks he does..hahaha.”

I call my Dad afterwards to get his perspective on the conversation and he tells me the whole marriage issue came up with our priest because other people in church were asking HIM about me getting married.

Mind ya damn bidness, folks. I’m gonna get married when I’m good and ready. Just because I’m polite to you, don’t look at me as the source of your niece’s Green card or visa in the U.S. And if my parents are cool with me, do you really think I care about your opinion on who/when to get married??

There’s a reason that brown people go to my parents to ask about my marriage plans and not me. They know if they push me, I’m going to give them answers that they don’t want to hear.

~ by joysonism on May 2, 2010.

3 Responses to “Brown Rant- Marriage? Mind Ya Bidness”

  1. hearing about situations like these that make me SO HAPPY that my family doesn’t fraternize with other desi folks. brown people are so damn nosy. they usually send the minister to do these sorts of things, thinking that you won’t oppose them.

    on the other hand, you’re old as fuck… maybe you should get married to a nice, little malu girl now before you get stuck w/ an old, fat, ugly malu aunty later… lol. 😉

  2. oh made my wink into an “emoticon.” i hate “emoticons.”

  3. welcome to my world, Joyson. Imagine being Arab, with 7 siblings, and being #5, where the first 4 are married and the younger two are in serious relationships. Leaves me and my 16 yr old bro with a mother who says “are you married yet??” as a “hello” to every conversation.

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